Tags
adharanand finn, club standards, conwy marathon, dog running, Georgina Walker, high legh 10k, mo farah, preston 5 mile, sebastian coe, steve birkinshaw, the art of running faster, ultra marathon
Where has my head gone this week?
I’ve just looked at my monthly mileage this month – 115 miles of running so far and 81 miles of walking. Most of these miles are clocked up running or walking with dogs – so actually what I would consider “productive” miles do seem few and far between.
The last time I blogged I had two speed sessions over the weekend, but then I felt pretty rotten with a chesty cough and phlegm for the past 10 days. I entered the Beacon Fell cross country as part of Lymm Runners on Sunday and I felt rotten. I did wonder whether to go but I’ve got this silly thought in my head that I can have another bash at getting the Winter Club Championship. I came second last year and was only 2 points away from first place. Why on earth I feel the need to do this I don’t know. It’s just one of those things that keep me going I guess.
It was a really muddy course this year compared to last year and I just didn’t have the breath to get me around. My legs didn’t feel too bad given the mileage they are clocking at the moment, but whilst I was warming up on the field I pulled the back of my left knee again and it was a bit niggly around the course. I honestly didn’t see the point in putting too much effort in, I just wanted to get around and not make myself ill. I knew when Jodi Wrigley showed up that she would be ahead of me as she is doing brilliant at the moment, clocking 1.51 for her first half marathon. And another of our club members, Ali (who definitely looked the part) was clearly going to finish first for the club. I was happy with 3rd place and I didn’t actually see the point in pushing too much although at the finish I did pass 3 women on the last 400 metres so gain some places finishing in 72nd place I think. Last year I finished 56th. Unbelievably 90 seconds slower a mile from last year but clearly mud played a very big part in this!
It was super muddy and I absolutely loved that part of it. Jim Dawson actually said that spikes wouldn’t have made that much difference in the thick mud, but I think on some of the grassy sections where I was sliding all over the place in my trail shoes they would have helped. I was really worried about slipping and getting injured knowing what weeks of dog running/walking I had ahead and I can’t afford to be injured when basically I need my legs to do my job!
I really need to sort out some spikes if I’m planning on entering more XC races!
It felt like I’d run a tough 10 mile race at the end of it!
So when Monday came around I did wonder if I would manage three hours of running with dogs (plus 2 hours of walking)…okay there was lots of stopping and moving time was probably around 40 minutes to every hour totalling 12.1 miles. Tuesday was similar with 3 hours of running with 11.4. Wednesday was just 2 hours and the first was more of a walk/jog but the second mile was a lovely run with Patch who clocked his longest run for an hour out with 5.2 miles and today Marley clocked her longest run with 5.64 miles. So that 34.3 miles over four days plus 19 miles of walking as well. My legs feel absolutely fine and thankfully whatever I pulled at the cross country on Sunday seems to have settled down.
Until the runs with Patch and Marley over the last couple of days I was starting to worry about my actual ability to run anything over a 10 minute mile. It feels like over the last 12 months I’ve just been getting worse and worse and it’s just making me feel worse about myself.
And then I had what was the biggest upset and it really knocked me and actually made me think I’d actually leave Lymm Runners because it just feels like I’m putting so much on myself, to be competitive not with others but with myself. I’m talking her about the Standards. At the start of the year I was aiming to achieve Silver Standards which I did last year… but having chatted extensively with other runners, including Georgina Walker, who helped me see the sense in the fact that sometimes you simply can’t (chest infections and injuries playing a big part on my slowing down this year and also training for the Conwy marathon earlier in the year). So I had accepted Okay lets just get the bronze this year and then next year I will hopefully not have such a set back of a year and get the silver again. Then Jim released the current situation for the standards:
High Legh 10k 50.07 – bronze
Conwy Marathon 4.19.57 – copper
Warrington parkrun 24.17 – bronze
Well my heart sank. I’d also run Preston 5 mile to try for a silver standard in August but I just wasn’t up to it, but then to see that it wasn’t included, I was thinking but I entered it just for the standard. I’ve been wondering what else I could do to at least get bronze and I thought well I was going to enter the Conwy marathon, but now I’d have to enter it for the standard.
Then this evening I thought I’d check and see if the standards had been updated and of course Jim has updated them and now the Preston 5 mile is included:
City of Preston 5m 39.14 – bronze
Bronze standard achieved.
It’s took late now to achieve silver, but I’ll settle with bronze and I’m mighty relieved that I don’t have to run Conwy to achieve a standard and I’ve not even looked what I would have to do. Can’t believe how little I have actually entered this year – but I deferred on one and didn’t show up to another because I wasn’t well or was injured.
I do think I’m going to head down to parkrun this weekend to see how my 5k is looking – can’t imagine Ill manage much better that 24 minutes and it’s probably going to be closer to 25 minutes. The thing is I really love the feeling of actually running faster and it feels a lot easier to run faster. Plodding along at a 10-11 minute mile pace with the dogs can be really tough at times. Clearly it has it positive points: I’m out with dogs and I love them all to bits, I’m outside enjoying the fresh air and the countryside and I’m getting time on legs which for anyone who runs longer distances is a really important part of it. And I’m still thinking “ULTRA” – I just want it to be the right ultra. I want to see scenery, I don’t mind if its hilly, I don’t want it to be boring because I need a great view to keep me going! I know there is the Liverpool to Manchester next May but that doesn’t appeal for the same reason the Manchester Marathon doesn’t appeal to me. I had seen a post for the Excalibur marathon in Wales and that looks really hard and challenging – guess time wouldn’t play a part again and then I’d get all the digs about taking longer than four hours.
I’m currently reading Sebastian Coe’s autobiography and unlike many of the running books I’ve read – and I’ve read quite a lot over the last couple of months – Rise of the Ultra Runner (Adharanand Finn), The Art of Running Faster (Julian Goater/Dan Melvin), Mo Farah’s autobiography and There is no map in Hell (Steve Birkinshaw) – and all of these books have filled me with positivity about running. I don’t know what it is about the Seb Coe book but whilst he has achieved amazing things in running, I’m not connecting with it in the same way as the other books! Of course I’m still loving it – any book about running is always great reading! Incidentally in case you didn’t know – in a period of 41 days in 1979 Seb Coe achieved world records in 800m, 1500m and the mile!
I’ve certainly been having a rollercoaster of a time with my love of running – I don’t think I’ll ever stop running – but I find it very difficult to say to myself without achieving something for myself is there actually a point – so what does that mean I get out of running and why do I run? I certainly don’t run for fitness or to lose weight. I run because I know it helps how I see myself, but when I am not running well I then see myself as someone who is failing – and I’m not good at that. I see lots of people’s posts patting people on the back for getting out there are running and saying that great that you got out there – and that is certainly true – but for me that doesn’t really seem to be enough. It’s okay to go out there and have some runs that are just about putting one foot in front of the other, but if you want to actually improve how you run, improve your times or maintain them, then you need to make sure that runs are actually productive.
So in the last five days I’ve thought I’m never going to run again, I love running, I’m running too slow, I want to run fast, I want to quit the club, why do I put so much pressure on myself, what can I enter, what boundaries can I break, have I run my fastest race? Too many thoughts and I’ve shed too many tears over it all. I’m still struggling with dealing with my Dad’s death and now hearing that two friends have lost their mum’s this week and just brought that question back into my head – really what is the point when we all die? I’ve tried very hard to fight these negative thoughts but they keep creeping into my thoughts. I don’t want to end the blog on a negative point and I’ve actually felt brilliant today running as Marley and I achieved a Strava best on a section of road!